The advice I wish I’d been given to navigate the playground at school & at work as a Mum

Today will be my last ever school run.

In the blink of an eye, I’m Mum to a 14-year-old and an 11-year-old, who from September will both be high school kids. I won’t lie part of me is relieved, as the primary school location meant a daily drive, so it has always been a juggling act. I also won’t miss the endless admin of £1 for ‘own clothes day’ school charity runs, baked goods required, odd socks days, teacher collections, school trips, forms, school pings…. the list is endless, and I swear you need a PA to run a primary school child’s diary of events. I’ve been thankful for the WhatsApp Mum’s group 😉

But part of me feels sad this era of my life is over. Part of me feels sad now that I never always appreciated holding their tiny hands whilst they gazed adoringly into my eyes during their reception years. This last year, I’m left at the school gate, told not to come in as I’m embarrassing! My daughter tries to walk 10 paces in front or behind me, as I’m so uncool!

What is has taught me, is that this period of our life goes quickly. As a Mum, and as a full-time working Mum for all my kid’s life, there is advice I wish someone had given me 9 years ago when I embarked on this journey. So here is the advice I would have given myself as a working Mum when my kids started school as I balanced rising through the ranks at work and managing young kids.

1. You must deal with the guilt that you cannot be giving 100% to everyone and everything all the time. You may think you are superhuman but working full time and being a Mum will require sacrifice, from my experience it’s your own ‘me time’ that will often but not always have to give in the early years, but this does get easier.
2. Because of the above, do not feel bad about scheduling that ‘me time’ spa days a night away with your friends. A weekend with your partner, you need this time and do not feel guilty, you need to have a little fun too. Ruthlessly prioritise and set time to keep your diary and mind organised each week.
3. You will get judged by other people, both Mums in the playground and in life – sadly it’s a fact. You will need to have a thick skin sometimes. No one knows your circumstances. Be kind, but never apologise for who you are and your choices. I’ve been on the end of some pretty nasty comments over the years, its only now with maturity and experience I can rise above this, it used to really upset me. Easier said than done, but don’t waste energy on these people.
4. Most Mums at school are actually very nice, so make the effort and they can also be an invaluable source of help to you in emergencies too 😉
5. Linked to point 3, build a network who ‘get you’ this is invaluable for your sanity. On a serious note, only women who work full time and at your pace can understand what’s it like to walk in your shoes. I have some really supportive friends who I really appreciate. I also have just a few who totally get my world. These people I’ve cried on and celebrated with over the years. This support network is my best advice – bonus if they like drinking wine or gin too!
6. When you are able to take your kids on the school run, do it. Meetings will always be there, but make your rules as to your weekly quota of what is acceptable and live by this. Don’t beat yourself up if you cannot always balance your diary, just do your best. As you progress through the ranks, this one becomes progressively tougher.
7. On the school run, be present, not on your mobile phone. Your kids will notice this, and colleagues will understand.
8. Explain your work to your kids. I work multi time zone’s, I can be online and calls when they wake at 7am or go to bed and I’m calls past 10pm. In between on days like this, we eat together, or I take them footy training, flexibility is so key. It takes good organisation. Working Mum’s are the best multi taskers ever!
9. As you rise through the ranks at work, you cannot attend every school event but choose your non negotiables. You will get so few nativities, cherish sports day if they are sporty, music concerts if that is their passion. These moments are precious. Block your time, rearrange meetings, and attend as much as you can. Work will always be there; these moments won’t be.  NEVER feel guilty about attending these school events. I encourage you to openly tell colleagues where you are going – this creates an inclusive culture. Important for Mum’s and Dad’s.
10. Invest time in managing upwards well. So many women don’t voice that they want the next step or are prepared to progress at work when they have children. Tell your manager your aspirations and work with them to manage your time and their expectations. Flexibility can give you the ability to perform the school runs etc but to progress you need to be clear on this and be smart when working early or late, so its visible. Don’t be shy on this, it will not help you.

Do not work for a business that doesn’t recognise your work ethic and ability either, you are an asset, always remember that.

Also remember there will be overwhelming days when its all too much and this is perfectly ok. Step off the world, go for a run, walk, drink wine, watch TV. Always be kind to yourself. You are navigating the